


Dreams

by antanddec_fanforever



Series: Brittle Bones [3]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Character Death, M/M, Mention of Character Death, Nightmares, PTSD, Pain, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:28:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23189967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antanddec_fanforever/pseuds/antanddec_fanforever
Summary: Jeff has a Nightmare.
Relationships: Jeff "Joker" Moreau/Male Shepard
Series: Brittle Bones [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1692271
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Dreams

After a long night of working hard Jeff thought he was gonna finally have a peaceful sleep, boy was he wrong very wrong. Just as sleep claims him he is plagued with the nightmares that came every night. They were all different, sometimes he saw events that already happened. Sometimes he saw things that could possibly happen. But they were all bad and they almost always resulted in Johns death. 

This time it was something he hadn't seen before, something that chilled him to the bones and caused his fear to be at a level he hadn't ever felt. Right there in front of him was John or what use to be him strapped to a table, with his eyes glowing blue and his body almost the same color of a husk. 

"No no no!!!" 

His voice was full of fear as he felt his instinct's pull at him and tell him to move forward immediately to free the man he loved so much. But something was telling him to stay back, something was warning him not to move forward. 

"Jeff...." 

Jeff''s eyes snap towards Shepard's as their eyes locked and he shivered at the bright blue eyes staring into his

"Jeff...."

Upon the second time he said his name, he moved forward with tears streaming down his face as he collapse''s beside him and locked his hand with his. 

"This is all my fault.. how do this-?" 

He felt his voice close in on itself and he simply let out the sobs he's been holding back since he laid eyes on him, once they were finished he moved over to the straps and slowly removed them.

"Jeff...."

His body shiver's at the way his voice is said and that it might not really be John anymore, that the man he loved was indeed gone and that caused him to struggle more and more. The moment the Shepard husk was freed though it moved with blinding speed to attack him but just before the husk reached him he was ripped out of his dreams by something rocking him. 

"Jeff, wake up. Jeff! Come on Jeff please wake up!"

He felt his eyes slowly open as John stood over him with a frown on his face as he studied the man. 

"You alright?"

Jeffects sits up slowly and as he does he wraps his arms around Shepards legs and pulled him in for arms hug. The moment he felt Shepard squeeze him back he let out a sigh of relief and rests his head against his chest. 

"I'm fine"

He felt Shepard shift and after a moment he felt a hand grip his chin lightly and move it up so he states directly into Johns eyes

"Are you sure? There seemed to have been something wrong" 

The way Shepard spoke and the way his eyes were full of worry really did question if he should have been keeping his nightmares a secret, if he should just tell him about everything

"No.. I'm not sure.. there's something I need to tell you.. but.." 

His voice trails off suddenly and he finds himself looking away from Shepard. As he looked away he saw his vision started to blur and his head started to pound as he realized what he was about to say. 

"Is it bad?"

He felt the worry on Johns voice as he spoke and he closed his eyes so he wouldn't see the tears resting there. 

"Yes.. simply because everything that has happened to you has been my fault" 

He felt the tears get worse and worse as he spoke, but he couldn't stop know. He just couldn't. 

"Jeff no-" 

"Yes it has.. everything that has happened, your death, your injuries on missions. Because of me. I know it, you wouldn't have gotter hurt if it wasn't for me"

He finally opened his eyes again and threw himself back down onto the bed as he let the tears fall down his face.

"Jeff! None of this is your fault, my death wasn't your fau-"

"BUT it was! You had to come back for me simply because I wouldn't abandon ship.. because I thought I could save the ship and you!"

He almost screamed the words and he felt more then notice Shepard fall silent as the man slowly wrap his arms under him and pulled him to his chest but that didn't stop him from going on about it all

"You paid the price for my choices.. know as part of my karma I must struggle with the nightmares and the fact that I killed you.."

He felt his throat close as his voice started to cracking from the emotions he was feeling and the fact he was even speaking on the subject that scared the living hell out of him. 

"You could have had anyone.. any man.. someone who wouldn't have gotten you killed" 

"I could have had any man, sure but they wouldn't be you Jeff.." 

"At least they didn't get you killed"


End file.
